girlfriends & nail polish.


Hey  y’all. It’s Sunday afternoon, and I just wanted to say “hey!” It’s been a while since I’ve been able to blog, and I’ve missed talking to you here. I’m hoping I’ve turned a corner and things will slow down a bit. I need them to!

I have random thoughts in my head right now, and none of them really go together. But I guess they do in my brain! haha!

I’ve had some downtime the last 24 hours. I literally didn’t get out of my pajamas yesterday! It was glorious. SERIOUSLY glorious! Pete & Abbey were in Charlotte at a wedding, and are on their way home now. With them being gone, I’ve had time to catch up on my bible study, read some email, start a new book, and – of course – watch football.

Whenever I have time to pause, like I have the last little bit, I always think about the relationships in my life, and if I’m loving well. As hectic as life is, I have very thick boundaries for family time.  This is the one place I’m pretty inflexible.

But I do struggle with girlfriend time. And I miss my girlfriends!  I have GREAT girlfriends. They bring such joy to my heart, and can make me belly laugh without even trying. It truly is a gift that I have friends I can call anytime, any place, about anything. They know everything. I can tell them how black my heart is. I can tell them about my deepest longings and desires. I can tell them about my struggles. I can tell them about what God is working out in me, as painful as it may be. They see the real me. They get me. They know me. And they celebrate my imperfect growth.  Even as recently as yesterday, I talked to two of them about having my feelings hurt over something stupid. They both gave me Godly, honest wisdom and after peeling back a few of the layers, I instantly felt better. Because I wear my emotions on my sleeve (a character trait I’ve always hated about myself, but am trying to learn to love), I can’t hide ANYTHING!  But God clearly made me this way for a reason. I feel so passionately about everything. And the lenses from which I look out, I expect others to care just as passionately. And the reality is they don’t. And that’s ok. My sisters helped me sort through what I was justified in feeling, and what I wasn’t. At one point, one teased: “Car, y’all talk in two different currencies, and what you’re feeling right now is the exchange rate difference.” LOLOL! Wow. I needed that perspective. She’s so great at cutting through the emotion, and seeing things for what they are. I’m actually still laughing at the analogy today. SO funny!  And SO true. My other girlfriend is in our industry and can identify with the range of emotions, and the one-way (real or imagined) relationships we sometimes feel we’ve been assigned. Like me, she wants everything and everybody to be authentic with no pretense. She’s very passionate too, and we both have a hard time with those who aren’t. But we reminded each other that at the end of the day, it’s all about His glory, and doing our jobs for Him, and not for human approval. {John 12:43}.

Do you have friends like this? Who can speak the truth in love to you? That you allow to get in your stuff? As we walk this road, we have to have friends in our life who hold us up, hold us accountable, and hold us in prayer. 

I wanna share one other quick thing. It really has nothing to do with what I’ve written about so far. Shocking, huh? The thread for me is that as I finished my study a bit ago, and Beth (Moore) ended today’s lesson with a story about one of her childhood girlfriends. Beth writes:

My best friend Dodie and I were inseparable from the sixth to the ninth grade. We shared a locker, clothes, secrets, burgers, and almost everything else in our young, limited lives, except boyfriends. That was a definite no-no. When we were in the seventh grade we took a vow with one another never – and I do mean never! – to let our toenails go unpolished, except to change colors. We agreed that such a gross oversight would render the offender a complete fashion failure. We reaffirmed our vow with countless shades of polish, talking a hundred miles an hour and fanning our toenails dry.

After dropping by to see me one day, Dodie was killed in a head-on collision. I heard sirens after hugging my twin friend’s neck but didn’t know until later that one of those ambulances had her in it. I’m not positive my heart ever completely healed…..

Beth goes on to write she visits Dodie’s grave often and when she does she steps out of her shoes, stands at the edge of the marker and says, “I’m keeping my promise. Are you?”  She attached this picture:

My childhood Dodie is Kim. Praise the Lord, I can kick off my shoes, and still have a conversation with her.  Though we never vowed polished toenails, we did promise to always be in each other’s lives. A promise we’ve kept. Thank you, Jesus, for girlfriends.

Welp, I told you my thoughts were random today. What are you thinking about this Sunday afternoon? Or here’s the better question …. who do you need to call today? Call them! And let them know how much you love them. And if you do decide to reach out to someone, will you tell me? I’d love to hear.

Picking up the phone to call Kim now.


3 Responses to “girlfriends & nail polish.”

  1. Nicole Miguel October 8, 2012 at 12:59 am #


    As I read your blog, I realized just how much I can relate to you on this matter. It is becoming more apparent to me how important family time is and girlfriend time is. I run a crazy busy schedule, I am up every morning at 5 and don’t get back home every day until at least 7:30pm. I’m interning at a bible college and even though I am not married, I still feel as if my life revolves around meeting other people’s needs. Sometimes you just need that down time where its just you and an empty house vegging out on the couch. I know I do. But today, it’s funny that I read this blog because I am very blessed to say that I have those girlfriends too. My best friend Alexis and I have been best friends since the 6th grade, 14 years back, and it’s amazing that we can literally talk to each other about anything and everything. I know that if I ever have a problem or an issue in my life, I can go to her about it without any fear that she will judge me or condemn me. Even though I don’t get to see her as much as we both would like, she is married with a family and busy with ministry and I intern at a bible school and run the schedule I said earlier, but I know that if I was to have a problem or she had a problem, everything would get put to the side and we would be there for each other. Coming across a friendship like that is a rarity in this day and I truly believe that it is a gift from God. I just want you to know though Carmen, how much you are appreciated and loved! Yes, you are on the radio where thousands of people hear you and know you everyday, but to a lot of those people, myself included, you are much more than just “Carmen from the Morning Cruise”. You invite people in to be a part of your family. You are you on the show and when people see you in person, you arent someone else, you’re that same person that we hear every day and all that goodness that God has put inside of you shines out of you! When I met you the other morning at the Brandon Heath meet and greet, I saw so much love inside of you and so much beauty and you give that to the world each and every day! I’m blesed to have met you and hope to be able to talk to you again soon! Sorry I’m rambling but I just want you to know that you are so appreciated and so loved!! Thank you for sharing your blog! Many blessings!

  2. Tera October 9, 2012 at 6:14 pm #

    Hi Carmen,

    I was trying to remember the book you mentioned today on air about relationships with food. What is the title? Thanks!

  3. Vicki Powell October 13, 2012 at 2:44 am #

    Just had one of those talks tonight with one of my best girlfriends. She pulled me aside and said we need to talk and pray. We went and sat on a bench and I bawled and she listened and she hugged me and she reassured me and she prayed over me and with me and was there for me. It is so important to know that I have friends that no matter what I tell them, they still love me.

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