I hate mass communication. Really. I do. I think it’s impersonal and sterile. But it’s the best I’ve got!
THANK YOU for all your notes, emails, texts and tweets. Y’all are the SWEETEST, most THOUGHTFUL, LOVING community. EVER. Golly, do I love you so!
Here’s the short version:
Regarding being in the hospital: I’ve had 4 “episodes” over the last 2 months. It’s like a vice grip or industrial strength rubber band around my rib cage. The first time it happened, it woke me up out of a dead sleep at 3:30 in the morning. I actually talked about it that morning on the air, and the show became an on-air version of webmd.com. ha! When the episode happens, it’s debilitating pain that makes me nauseous/light headed and sweat like I’ve jumped in the pool. It happened again Monday night before Abbey’s basketball game. I couldn’t get outta the car in the parking lot. It starts like it’s heartburn, and continues. I texted Pete inside and told him to come help me. I seriously thought I was dying! He took me to the ER. They ruled out heart attack. That’s good!! (I knew it wasn’t my heart, btw). And pulmonary embolism. That’s good too! The Dr. said it could be my gallbladder, but I wasn’t tender in that area…and the pain subsides after 45 minutes-ish. With gallbladder, it typically doesn’t subside, and usually happens after eating fatty foods. This wasn’t me. I spent the night at the hospital and had an EKG, cat scan, x-rays, and countless viles of blood taken. All my levels look normal. No clots, etc. I’m actually very healthy! As a mater of fact – and you’ll laugh as hard as I did! – they said, “are you a runner? You have a runner’s heartbeat and your blood pressure looks athletic.” LOLOLOLOL! I said, “Look at me. Don’t I look like a runner?” Yes, you can laugh with me. And we all know I’m a FAKE runner!
Anywho, I’m following up with a GI doc to rule out gallbladder, etc. It could also be acid reflux, gastritis etc. Who knows. Maybe it’ll land me on Dr. Oz! Of course, the Doc said it could also be stress. I feel like I handle stress pretty well. But maybe I don’t.
As I’ve shared semi-openly, the last six months (on a personal level, not this crazy “episode” stuff) has been a season of leaning into Him, unlike I’ve done in several years. He has asked me the question: Do you believe Me? Do you believe the things you say you believe? I have had to answer honestly….”God, I believe. Help me with my unbelief.” I’m learning that I believe for others; but I don’t believe for myself or my family. Sitting where I sit, I get to see the “red bows”/the happy-ending stories. All the time! And sometimes I forget there’s a hard, long-suffering, but committed road that folks have traveled. Ron & Denver didn’t become friends one day, and write a book together the next. Renee’s daughter didn’t die one day, and she and Eric started doing DUI presentations together the next. Both were journeys. So, I’m journeying with God right now, walking the road with my mom, with my best friends Chris & Kellie and Chris’ cancer diagnosis, and with other close family members who are deeply wounded and need the hand of the Healer. My faith is being challenged. And that’s a good thing. A faith unchallenged is a faith unchanged.